the dark side of being a creator

I close my laptop.

Take a deep breath. And plop into my bed to spend the next 2 hours scrolling TikTok.

My eyes glaze over the screen as my body falls under a zombie-like trance.

Swipe. Swipe. Swipe.

It’s my nightly numbing ritual from all the work I’ve done, and the work that has yet to be done.

I glance at the clock.

2AM. Damn.

I toss my phone to the other side of the bed as if it was a dirty rag and close my eyes.

A temporary wave of relief washes over me…

and then the questions flood in.

What am I doing with my life?

Will this ever work out?

What’s the point of all of this?

Why does it feel like everyone else is succeeding twice as fast as me?

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The 3 Villains Of A Creator’s Psyche

I’m sure at some point you’ve felt one of these 3 emotions as a creator.

1. Doubt in your abilities to reach your goals or make X amount of money. This often shows up as imposter syndrome or just plain ol’ insecurity.

2. Envy in your peers when they seem to skyrocket to success faster than you. This shows up as comparison.

3. Shame in yourself when you feel like you’re not enough— or worse when you feel like you’re not doing enough. This shows up as workaholism, productivity overload, and eventually leads to burn out.

I’m not a psychological expert…

but I’ve been around the block when it comes to these 3 emotions.

And I can tell you, one is shitty enough.

but when you experience all 3?

It’s like guzzling an addictive poison from a bubbling cauldron.

Once you start you just keep spiraling downward.

So here’s my short PSA for y’all this week.

Take some time off from ‘delivering value’ for others and give some value to yourself.

In other words?

You need to chill out!

Here’s some ideas:

• Take a class purely for fun. I recommend art classes!

• Go eat at someplace new and totally envelope yourself in the food ( no phone allowed).

• Reconnect with your hobbies again and pick up that dusty guitar sitting in the corner of your room. I’m looking at you Mark.

• Learn a new dance move and show it off to your friends and family.

• Go to a bookstore and just get lost.

Enjoy yourself :),

Brian “chill out” To

One Dope Link

I spent hours playing this game when I was 12.