It’s 1AM and the blue glare of my phone paints my weary face.
I’m doing it again.
My index finger flicks through the posts at the speed of light.
“Entry-level marketer (urgently hiring)…”
“Academic tutor (must be available weekends)…”
“Technical writer (you will wear many hats)…”
ugh. no. no. no.
My brain is running a hundred scenarios of all the different lives I could be living—And of all the dolla dolla bills I could be making.
I let this mental tug-of-war go on for another hour before I stuff my phone under my pillow, mentally too sick to read another Indeed job listing.
Why am I doing this to myself? What’s going on? What’s the point in looking at jobs I know I’ll never apply to? Am I some sort of entrepreneurial masochist?
And then it hits me like a lightning bolt⚡.
I feel desperate.
For some, the job board feels like a beacon of hope for an exciting new adventure, an opportunity for a higher salary, or maybe even a fun challenge.
But for me?
Indeed feels like a burial ground for my hopes and aspirations.
And for some reason, I can’t shake this feeling about it no matter how hard I try.
I know there’s no shame in getting a job to pay the bills, keep yourself afloat, etc etc… but why does it feel like applying for a job is such a major pain in the ass?
Not just that.
It feels like a cop out. A betrayal of my heart. Like I’m breaking a promise.
This is something NO ONE has told me about before I set off on my own and became a solopreneur.
Self doubt sucks harder than a Dyson vacuum.
And you’re going to feel the self doubt creep up randomly when you’re in the middle of your journey— when you’re wondering and missing that warm cozy bed you had.
Have you ever made a career switch and had to take a huge leap of faith?
Have you ever launched a business not knowing what will happen next?
I’d love to hear your comments (and if you made it alive through it all)!
Til’ next week,
Brian “⚡” To
Build In Public 🔨
Melon has been adopted!!! It’s been a whole month of fostering this little furball and he’s going to a wonderful family in Massachusetts. We dropped him off with a transport from Save Some Souls where he’ll be taking a 3 day trip from Houston to meet his new family.
I miss you already buddy. 🥹
One Dope Link 🔗
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